MONT BLANC

The breathtaking views from Mont Blanc Aiguille du Midi.

I am forever fascinated by the differing environments
of this gorgeous planet.


...

When I was younger, I would watch documentaries filled with deep-sea jellyfish, auroras and jungle monkeys. We had a computer game, my siblings and I, that enchanted us for hours with its facts about the Amazon rainforests and the many creatures living there.

But I never thought I would be the kind of person who would one day leave home to visit those Earthly environments.

I grew up on a windy outstretch of land on the South Island of New Zealand. I grew up beside the sea... the waves are in my bones, the salt in my tangled hair, the water my blood, the shells my eyes. The sea calls to me in my dreams, I love her dearly.

However, this intimate connection only became clear to me when I began to travel! Living so close to the shore, I had grown used to the sound of the surf, and it only seemed natural to me that the sea would always be there... I guess I never thought much about it, before coming to the mountains.

My husband Oliver grew up in Colorado. The mountains are his home - the tall, rocky places of the world give him life, breath, and purpose. I see it every time we turn our heads to the hills. As we travel to the higher places of the world, Oliver becomes more animated, lively and thoughtful. He is normally such a quiet and inwardly-contained person, so it is always quite lovely to hear him say, "I missed the mountains, I didn't realise it till now, but I have missed them." Then I feel like I am glimpsing some chink of his own epiphany, a part of his personal, soulful natural connection that he gently shares with me, and it is a special moment. That is also how I feel about the sea.

...

On the top of Mont Blanc, where the cable car ends and the sky begins; where the wind thrashes and grabs at the small prayer flags that wrap around every cold metal surface, Oliver shared that same sentiment: that he had missed the mountains. It was such a moving moment, us standing there, arm in arm... the wind whipped up tears in my eyes, probably half from the cold, but also from the sheer joy.

I get this feeling, sometimes when I am on the road, that I am suddenly awakening from a deep sleep... then, looking around me I become aware of my surroundings, like I am seeing them for the first time. This feeling came over me up there, in the Alps. I saw the way the clouds were gathered in layers that hugged the mountain's shoulders, hundreds of feet below us. I saw the sun glinting off every white and obsidian point. I saw the tiny specks moving in the distance - climbers traversing a ridge. I saw it, laughed, then skipped merrily about, holding hands then rushing forward, stopping to investigate the icicles of an overhanging ledge (tentatively licking a few), then I was off again, discovering a tunnel in the snow! And so it went. Oftentimes, my bliss stems from just being alive, and then everything around me is living too, and I am interacting with it all.

...

I am slowly learning of my own connections with the natural world. I feel like a child, wandering with a head full of thunder and curiosity. There are so many reasons as to why I travel, but mainly it is this: in my heart I feel this calling of the wilds - not just one wild, but many wilds; places that hold some spark for me. It is like, wherever I go, the wilds hold those parts of me still to be discovered, and something else, too. I was taken away from my oceans to live for long periods of time in the mountains with Oliver, and during those times I feel as if the ocean is flowing out of me into the dry, high alpine desert lands. The songs that I wove, when I stood shoreside, they caught and entangled the waves and the water so I could take them to hilltops and to the red soils.

Oliver and Me, the mountains and the sea.

 

The view over Chamonix valley from the top of Mont Blanc Aiguille du Midi.
Me, Zoe, looking over Mont Blanc.
The iron tunnel on the mountain top.
The beautiful peaks of the Alps and Mont Blanc.
Oliver standing in the void.
Binoculars to look out over the alps.
Views over the Alps and Mont Blanc - spectacular snowy mountains.
Ollie walking through the tunnel on Aiguille du Midi.
The old chairlift to Aiguille du Midi.
Prayer flags on the mountain.
Icicles and the alps.
A snow cave tunnel on Aiguille du Midi, Mont Blanc.

MONACO IS A GARDEN

The Casino Gardens in Monaco - all palm leaves and green water.

 

Monaco is not a town

it is secretly a garden,

interwoven with some buildings.

...


NOTES FROM MY DIARY

 

I never knew I cared so much about clothing, until I left to Europe with only two tops, one pair of pants, two thermal leggings, a jacket and hat and one pair of snuggly winter boots.

Those clothes, they sheltered me through the Icelandic gales, and the Finnish nights, and the Croatian Bura, and all manner of other harsh winter weather. I am endlessly grateful for merino and those beautiful wooly sheep of my homelands, for they have saved my life many times over.

I loved the freedom of not caring - the muddy feet, tangled mermaid hair, and the mornings when I wouldn't have to change at all - staying in my rumpled sleeping warmth till the sun came up, and jackets came off.

But at a certain point I just felt that I needed MORE than practicality...
I need expression!
I need sensuality!

...

Oliver and I left to travel Europe in search of our own limits as humans. We wanted to know how far we could go, and how little we could live without. This experiential experiment was one of the greatest moves I have ever made. I found that I need very little in life, that I can live in any form of shelter, as long as I am warm enough, (and sometimes I can live with no shelter at all). I found that I do not need over than half my belongings - and I gave these away. But I still need healthful, nourishing food and good books. I found that, above all, I value company. I had always thought I was a lonely person, and happy with it. But loneliness, true loneliness was tough, and I longed for human connections. Oliver felt this way too, and we were most blissful when we made friendships with special souls on the road, or during those random moments of interaction with some interesting human being.

But never did I think that I would miss my clothing.


I have conflicting sets of paradigms, when it comes to clothing - on the one hand I used to pour myself into books about fashions; from the Sumerians to the Victorians, I loved it all. From the age of twelve I dreamt of studying fashion, and at age 18 I followed my dreams, for a short while.

However, there was also that part of me that read Buddhist books cover to cover, soaking in the words of wise sages who spoke of sacrificing all material possessions. In many ways, I thought, and still think, there is a point to this. That possessions are not where we can place our happiness, like eggs in a basket. That they are empty and meaningless, until we give them meaning.

But then I decided to go and test these words and ideas, before taking them for granted. I felt I needed to know for myself. I wanted to find the edges of my being - who I am, what I am made of, what I need, and what I want.

For so long I had been ignoring this last one: what I want.

I thought, "who cares what I want, when there are so many 'should's' in this world." I thought only of what I 'should' want... Traveling in austerity stopped me in my tracks, as I realised the importance of my own desires. I began to listen in on myself... slowly, slowly, learning from my own body and mind. For some reason, perhaps because of what I have seen around me, thought I 'should' want a life of extremes: eco living, off grid, need no showers, forage and grow, never shop at supermarkets - that kind of thing. I tried on other lifestyles like people try on shoes. Slowly, I was learning... I wanted showers, and more than that I wanted baths. I wanted cleanliness. I wanted very little possessions, but for those possessions that I do own to be loved, well worn, useful and beautiful. I wanted to shop for food. I wanted a place to grow food too. I wanted creature comforts. I wanted less work hours, more time for hobbies, especially reading and writing. I wanted to travel. And I wanted nice clothes!

My desires change, they are fluid like water, not as constant as my needs, but they are still important. They speak to the parts of me that have formed around my world like a vine searching for sun - I could stay small and survive close to the ground, or I could look at the other plants and copy how they have grown... but I choose not to. Instead I am following my sun's light.

...

 

In Monaco we bought new clothes: cotton shirts to let the breeze in, soft on skin, and new shoes to run with, and shorts and pants that let the sun touch our winter bruised legs. My boots were caked in mud, totally worn and cracked through, smelly and old, they reminded me of all the beautiful memories I had been through. But I gave them up, making room for the new: new meaningful items, new expressions of self.

 

I felt like a Spring lamb

in a garden of clover!

 

View over the harbour of Monaco, with luxury yachts all lined up and gardens laid out below.
The most wonderful vivid flowers in the well tended gardens of Monaco.
A silver and gold telescope on the hillsides of Monaco.
Yellow flowers and the apartment buildings of Monaco.
Pink candy houses - such perfect apartments on the royal hilltop of Monaco.
Small nemo clownfish in a sea anemone - Monaco's famous aquarium.
A regal white stone building, with exotic palms, Monaco.
An old glass cabinet with a model ship inside - Monaco's aquarium museum.
Tiled floors and drop lanterns in a grand entranceway to Monaco's museum.
Beautiful pink and purple flowers bloom by the stairs of a garden in Monaco.
An incredible, huge ballroom with crystal chandeliers in Monaco.
Brilliant cactus gardens in Monaco - with all different types of cacti.
A perfect pink rose, climbing on a trellis.
Royal police hang around a perfect pink cookie cutter building, Monaco.
A red rose in the Princess Grace Rose Garden.
Luxury yachts bob in the bay.
The Monte Carlo Casino façade, with luxury cars parked in front.
Cafe de Paris art nouveau glass awning in Monaco.
Monte Carlo casino architecture - sumptuous. 
A fancy old car driving through the streets of Monaco.
The Japanese gardens of Monaco in Spring - with magenta cherry blossom.
A koi fish in a pond, with rocks and coins. Zen image.
The beautiful bridge and small pond in the Japanese gardens of Monaco.
A pink rose, the Princess Grace Rose Garden, and the hills of Monaco behind.
Driving the hills around Monaco with gorgeous views of the blue ocean and lush forest.
What have you been doing poet since you left us
Your sun is still here in Monaco
It almost knows Italian I looked for you on the terraces because they
were full of light
And the train whistled and stopped and you didn’t get off and the terraces
grew very sad
What I am writing comes from the Earth stems of tropical flowers
fireworks from nature poems from the Earth...
— ALBERT-BIROT

THE VERDON GORGE

The blue-green waters of the Verdon Gorge, France.

A PILGRIMAGE INTO NATURE

I guess I could call this whole trip a pilgrimage - a long series of journeys to various sacred destinations.

The places I hold sacred are mainly of the Earth: walls of stone, pillars of wood, holy waters lapping at the shore or coursing through the jungle. My temples are often outside.

But here, in the mountains of France, I felt a stirring in my soul, as I walked up the steps to a physical, brick and mortar kind of temple.

The path was rocky, laid out in huge slabs that force your feet to pause as they try and negotiate the jumble of surfaces. I was walking slowly, stopping to look out over the village and valley, or to nod a hello to the statues of Mary on my way up. Several times I bent down to inspect a patch of unruly grape hyacinths, growing from the cracks.

Up there I could hear the cry of an eagle from far above.

At the top of the stair was an opening onto a patio, at the end of which sat a huge, heavy-set wooden door, inlaid and worked with delicate features that belied the weight of the whole thing. It was the door to a church. The door was closed and locked, but the whole affair made an impression on me... the walk, the tiny chapel with its beautiful gateway like a portal into the mountains.

There is something about this mixing of human sacred spaces with Earthly sacred spaces that I love.

I soaked in my surroundings as if I was drinking from an oasis.

That bliss stayed with me all throughout our little pilgrimage in the mountains... over pass, under tunnel, on the crazy roads, in the olive groves and on the cliff's edges... I couldn't stop grinning!

...

 

The view of the Verdon Gorge while driving the high roads.
Blue bells growing through cracks in paving stones.
A blue-green snake - the river winds through the Verdon Gorge.
The blue green pool of Sillans La Cascade in the national parks of France.
Sitting on the edge of the Verdon Gorge, looking out over the river far below in the canyon.
The Lake Sainte-Croix of the Verdon Gorge, France.
Violets growing between the stone cracks.
The edge of the canyon - rocky cliffs jut out over a steep precipice.
Small blue flowers growing as weeds in the shadows.
Amazing rock formations in the Verdon Gorge, France. Patterns in the rocks like a wave.
Gates to a mountain shrine, France.
Clear turquoise waters of the Verdon river, France.
The turquoise river runs through the white rock of the Verdon Gorge, on a sunny day.
A mountain temple with standing cypress trees, in the Verdon Gorge.
The beautiful blue Lake Sainte-Croix, on the edge of the Verdon Gorge.