When I was young, just out of highschool, a spring chicken stepping into life's great mystery, I thought I did not like people very much.
I had a few friends, but my choices were always careful, my mind on alert to ward off those who I deemed "bad friends." You see, I had a bit of a traumatic experience with an ex boyfriend, and the complicated mess that came afterwards meant that I was wary of all kinds of relationships. I remember feeling quite cynical, smug, and judgmental. I also remember my mum telling me that I needed to be kinder to people.
Time has a way of throwing it all in your face, while also smoothing out the wrinkles. Gradually, over the past few years, I have learned to love again. Not only my husband, and my close friends, but also all those future-friends and smiling faces and sweet souls I see around me in the world.
These last six months have opened me up like a flower to the possibilities of deeper friendships. It feels like I am discovering a new invisible world of threads, overlaid on top of this one. There are threads that connect me to all kinds of wonderful people all over the globe! Soul connections. I must admit, the internet and Instagram have played a valuable role in the finding of these threads, but in some cases I have been able to follow them further - to Skype chats, and pen-pal letters, and even further - to real life moments of shared joy!
If someone had told me a year ago that I would find some of my most beautiful friendships online, I would have looked at them like they were bananas.
Shared moments are some of the most memorable, and the most beautiful...
MEMORIES OF SHARED MOMENTS
- an email from a soul sistar, read after work, while walking by the river. I cried, when I read those parts of her life story that seemed to be divinely aligned with my own.
- a small handmade chocolate, lovingly given and savored in a cave, surrounded by primal melodies made of flutes, drums and soft voices.
- laughter, in circles of smiles, under trees.
- more laughter, when trying to set up an obviously broken and wonky tent! Laughter heals everything.
- touch. something I was so afraid of for so long, now a part of some of my fondest memories: of hugs.
- dances under the stars, in moonlit pavilions, to the sound of a billion cicadas.
- moments of recognition, "have I met you before?"
- barefoot wanderings, muddy creeks and skinny dipping.
- food shared around a table.
- stories that bare the soul of the speaker, and a space like a nest where we listen and are heard.
- a car ride, short, but filled to the brim with the most glorious conversation!
- a beautiful letter filled with tea packets, hand written love notes, sentiments, life stories, and pretty postcards... (and five more, from new friends!)
- the sweetness of tent buddies in the morning hours: silent companionship as the sun rises.
- talks until two.
- gifts given and received, unexpected and unlooked for.
- humble women, raw, messy, wonderful and powerful who accept themselves and me, as I am.
- endless love, heart openings.